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Lack of self-confidence is among the core reasons that hold women back in the workplace. Over the years of coaching on self-development, confidence and performance, I've seen lack of confidence being manifested in various different ways but those that seem to keep coming back on my coaching agenda are the ones I want to talk about here.
There are at least 5 classical types of behaviour or mindsets that prevent a lot of women from maximizing their growth and fulfilment at work.
Fear of judgement is one of the most common human fears and it is linked to our natural desire to be liked by all, at all times. Brené Brown would say, it comes from our natural "longing for connection", which is nothing but normal, until it turns into inner insecurities. Fear of judgement is often preventing us from speaking up, asking for help and sharing our opinions with others. In the end, it is holding us back from being honest and authentic, it keeps us from openly experiencing and expressing our true selves.
"Confidence is not 'they will like me'. Confidence is 'I'll be fine even if they don't'."
- Christina Grimmie
"Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day."
- Brené Brown
Basically, BE YOU. Know your values & stand by them!
If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will and as a result you will miss on opportunities to grow and increase your performance at work. You project your self-belief or lack of it everywhere you go. The way you see yourself, believe in yourself, think of yourself will affect the way others see you at work. It is thus your own responsibility to change your self-image and increase your self-belief, don’t expect that from others.
We all have self-critical voices within us but women tend to manage them less effectively than man or they don’t manage them at all, in which case those inner self-critics become super active. The more active and lively they become, the more powerful they are to affect your performance at work, or any other area in your life, quite frankly.
Find out about your own inner critics by completing this free Saboteur Assessment.
For women who tend to be very self-conscious at work, embarrassment or humiliation is very much interlaced with the fear of loosing dignity and self-esteem. The fear of embarrassment prevents us from making the most of opportunities and risk-taking, it can be overwhelming and stand in the way of carrying out our daily responsibilities at work.
Brené Brown on "The power of vulnerability".
"Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen."
- Brené Brown
The common misconception is that there is a fine line between arrogance and confidence, this prevents a lot of women from being more engaged and active during work meetings, asking direct questions and putting themselves out there, as they don’t want to appear arrogant. Confident does not always mean arrogant, in fact there is a huge difference between the two. Moving away from arrogance and into confidence can propel you forward in your career and in your life.
Get clear on the difference between arrogant and confident:
Inner confidence is unshakable.
"True confidence comes from within and not from the ego-pleasing situations"
Easier said than done? Yes, often that is the case until you take the first step. Confidence is a learnable skill AND it takes time and efforts to grow and nourish it, just like any other skill.
If you relate to any of the things mentioned in this article, let me know in the comments below what is one ONE thing you will do differently from now on. Share below!
As an expert in the field, I’m offering an in-depth 6-month confidence coaching programme, not just for women but for everyone who is ready to maximise their personal growth, fulfilment and joy in life by building a stronger and healthier relationship with themselves based on solid self-confidence, self-love, self-acceptance, self-belief and self-trust.
Get in touch if you are interested, or if you know someone who would be!
For more information on 1-2-1 confidence coaching or group coaching, contact me on [email protected] or visit my website www.patriciaskurzak.com