The life of our dreams doesn’t just magically fall into our lap. Instead it’s something we need to cultivate, and this takes certain skills which usually aren’t taught during school, higher education or even our career. Coaching offers us the tools we need in order to progress. It’s no different to hiring a tutor when we want to learn a new language. Of course we can always try and learn on our own but by hiring a professional, it skyrockets our progress and catapults us to great heights. This is why coaching can be so beneficial for many of us. 

Reassess your belief systems

Do your beliefs align with the person you want to become? Do they uplift you? How does your internal voice speak to you? It could be with love and support or constant critique. Our limiting beliefs can sabotage our efforts and hold us back from living a life of joy. We are hard on ourselves, we make excuses and doubt what we are capable of. We don’t believe we are deserving of the life we want to lead. The way we view ourselves is skewed and inaccurate due to past traumas and experiences. A coach allows us to delve deep into our psyche and ascertain whether what we believe about ourselves supports us or is even true. This shake up of our paradigm can provide us with true freedom to be who we were born to be.

Reconciling the Past

In order to move on, we need to make peace with the past. Many of us seek this in the form of one more conversation with an ex partner, having it out with an employer or clearing the air with a family member. While this can be helpful, often the best person who can give us closure is ourselves. By speaking with a trusted coach, we can explore this and finally free ourselves from that which holds us back. Let go of the hurt, the pain and disappointments. It’s time to get excited for life.

Get Uncomfortable

Often when we try to make big changes, we have an instinct to retreat into our shell and stick with our current and comfortable way of life. It’s natural to get hooked on that safe feeling we have in our comfort zone. There are no surprises, we know what to expect and there’s no danger of failing. But guess what? There’s a very real danger of not growing. Life truly begins when you get out there and experience it with full force. Some of our greatest adventures occur when we are thrust into difficult and confronting situations. We realise that we are resilient, strong, capable beings and this gives us the confidence to stretch our comfort zone out even further.  A coach can serve as our biggest cheerleader, there to push us when we feel an overwhelming fear to stick to what we know. All it takes is someone to guide us in the right direction - to a life of inspiration and freedom, rather than comfort and security - because that is not where the magic happens!

Clarity

Sometimes we know we want something more from life but we don’t know what that is. Coaching helps us to uncover our inner yearnings and desires, this can allow us to discover a kind of life that brings absolute joy and fulfillment. When we try to do the work on our own, things can feel overwhelming or uninspiring. Sometimes the answers are right in front of us but we just can’t see it and that’s where coaches can help provide that clarity.

Action Plan

Finally know what you want to do? Well it’s not going to happen without taking MASSIVE action. Staying on target with your aspirations can be really hard. We procrastinate, we make excuses and sometimes we just give up. Having someone to guide us through the process and empower us to keep going is invaluable. Our coaches are on hand to help build indestructible plans with timelines - it’s time to smash some goals.

Accountability

Having a support network is vital to keeping up morale and also being held accountable. Coaches are there to provide the support and guidance you need but also hold you accountable to specific action in order to achieve your goals. This isn’t as scary as it sounds, it’s not a forceful approach. In fact, the process of actually discussing your action points out loud with someone like a coach already makes them more real and achievable. You will drive yourself into action instead of procrastination knowing that your coach will check in and help you progress closer to these goals. 

if you are interested in finding out more about life coaching and if it is right for you
contact us

Our mindset greatly influences the quality of our life, and what we believe has the power to influence every decision we make and perception we have. Beliefs are our certainties. We hold onto them and feel threatened if someone challenges them, but they are often based on subjective experiences or personal trauma. When we hold onto limiting beliefs, we don’t allow ourselves to reach our greatest potential. We stay in a dead-end job, we put up with an unfulfilling relationship and we settle for less than we could achieve across all areas in life. Unpacking the belief systems that are holding us back is the first step in growing our self worth and creating the life we truly desire. If we don’t, we risk never showing up as our authentic selves or the leaders we are capable of being.

Closeup of sad young Asian woman at cafe leaning head on clasped hands and staring into vacancy. Tired freelancer feeling burnout. Stress and bad news concept

What is a limiting belief

Limiting beliefs are what we perceive as a reliable truth that tends to have a negative impact on us. This could lead to negative emotions and feelings such as a lack of self worth, guilt, shame, doubt and fear. These limiting beliefs present themselves and hold us back from living life to our full potential. Do your beliefs support your dreams or block you from them? The excuses we tell ourselves as to why we couldn’t or shouldn’t have something are often deeply rooted in a negative experience we once had. They are part of our ego trying to protect ourselves from experiencing more pain or anguish. But we can never really progress unless we move past them. A coach allows us to delve deep into our psyche and ascertain whether what we believe about ourselves supports us, or is even true.

Negative Self Talk

Most of us have an internal ‘narrator’ who provides an ongoing, running commentary about our life. Often this internal monologue can be our biggest critic. This voice may berate us, tell us we are not enough or that we can’t have what we want. Often it has been created by the story we tell ourselves about the world and our role in it. The voice typically has been informed by other people’s views of us that we learnt in our early years, especially our parents. This running commentary can manifest an inner world that doesn’t match up with who we are. It doesn’t take into account how much we have developed and grown throughout the years. Are you your biggest supporter, or critic? Observe the way you speak to yourself throughout the day. Does it need to change? Would you talk to a friend like that? These are all questions that a coach can delve into. Imagine if your internal voice was your best friend and biggest cheerleader. That constant uplifting energy will make big changes in your world.

Stories we tell ourselves

Our excuses can stem from past experiences that we latch onto and identify with. But are these still relevant? It’s important to re-evaluate whether these beliefs have any weight to them. Everyone makes mistakes in life, but they are merely learning opportunities and stepping stones to wisdom. Should we define ourselves by our past failures or success? The truth is both are important and should be seen as opportunities to transform. Shifting our paradigm is incredibly important in seeing ourselves as someone who has limitless potential.

Those around us

The people we surround ourselves with have a great influence on us. They can affect everything from our energy to the activities we partake in and our general outlook on life. If we grew up in a family of high achievers, chances are we will feel a high pressure to do great things and have an inner drive. This will be our barometer of success. If our friends love to travel and explore new cultures, then we, too, will seek out experiences that enrich our lives. Every now and again it’s important to reassess our connections. Which direction do we want to go in? Do the people we spend time with reflect this? The impact our friends and family have on our lives is huge. Sometimes we feel stuck and miserable only because those around us are talking and acting in the same way. Seek out those who inspire you. Energy is contagious, our connections should uplift us and set alight a fire within us!

Recognise that beliefs are not facts 

Beliefs are always subjective. They differ from person to person and we can change them according to our own personal needs. If they are not serving us and our best self, then it’s time to reconfigure the paradigm. Often facts alone cannot shake someone’s long held opinion. That’s where coaching can help us move past the deep-rooted blocks we have unknowingly created for ourselves.

Challenge your beliefs 

Approaching life with a curious mindset is a positive way to live. By applying the same to our beliefs, we can ensure we are continuously growing. Questioning them can uncover revelations within ourselves, especially when we realise that a current belief is no longer serving us and it’s time to find a new one! We may ask ourselves what this belief is grounded in. Did we always think this way, and if not, what changed this? Is there evidence to counteract this belief?

What are the consequences?

Our self worth and self love are on the line when we don’t challenge our thinking. Nothing changes on the outside if we haven’t done the inner work. By analysing our inner voice we can ask ourselves, is this belief damaging? If we continue this way, then where will we be in five years? Often looking towards the future can be a big wake up call. The time to change is NOW. 

I have two friends who have a habit of finishing my sentences before I do. Besides being an annoying habit, they are wrong most of the time.

Their brains may have a purpose for doing this. They may be acting out of an insecurity or they just think too fast. Regardless, I know they are not listening. I know they can’t read my mind. No matter how well they think they know me, they don’t know what I want or how I see things until they hear me out.

Assuming you know what people want and how they see a situation is a common bad habit of coaches and leaders. Even if you don’t interrupt people to finish their sentences, your assumptions make you think you know what they mean which is often a mistake. You might sense the big picture but not important details. The results won’t reflect what the person wants.

The assumption of knowing – thinking you know what people mean and want – without fully listening and ensuring you agree on what they really want, can hurt your relationships. Neurobiologist Steven Rose pointed out in The Future of the Brain (2005), a snapshot of the brain’s current state is meaningless unless we know the entire life history of that brain’s owner – including the social context in which he or she was raised.

An assumption may be the source of the conflict

I’ve seen the assumption of knowing create conflicts on teams that think they are aligned around a clear vision but in truth, have very different pictures of what the implemented solution will look like. Not being aligned around a clear vision of the outcome everyone is hoping to achieve will sabotage cooperation. It is difficult to agree on priority of goals and allocation of resources. The team devolves into a group of people giving status reports in the room and complaining about each other outside of the room.

In one-on-one conversations, when there is no agreement on the meaning of key words and requests, and no agreement on what the end results should look like, leaders can’t meet expectations because their actions won’t align with what employees or colleagues want. Nobody ends up feeling understood.

Coaches are required to clarify and agree early in the conversation on what clients want to create or change to limit assumptions about where to go with the session. This outcome can shift and change as they address what has been getting in the way of making the changes. Identifying and sharing the new picture of what clients express they want to create or change becomes the measurement of progress toward finding a way forward by the end of the conversation. This is a core coaching competency. Yet even the meaning of this competency is often misunderstood. If there is no clear agreement on what clients really want instead of what is happening now, they may enjoy talking about their problems but the actions they agree to take at the end of session will probably be forgotten when facing the same or similar situation going forward.

If what the client declares they want more or less of is vague and unobservable, such as “to have more confidence” or  “to feel more motivated when I wake up,” the coach needs to ask the client what does confidence or feel motivated mean to them and what will change when they have these feelings. When the coach plays back the clarified picture to confirm what the client sees as a desired outcome, the coach and client will have an agreement with fewer or no assumptions. The coach can then focus on what needs to be resolved to move toward this vision.

The International Coach Federation says if the client’s desire – what they want for themselves by the end of the session – is vague, ambiguous, and imprecise, it doesn’t matter much what the coach does next because there is no solid direction for the coaching to take. The agreement frames the conversation.

They might have an assumption, too

An action, a decision, a plan, or a better understanding is not an agreement on what the conversation will be about. What will the action, decision, plan, or understanding give them once they have it? Once you both are clear on what they want as an end result, the most beneficial and feasible decision or plan will be easier to discover.

To come to an agreement of what the client or employee really wants, let them tell their story describing how they see the challenge they are facing today. Ask them to give you the meaning of the key words they use so you can both clearly see what is on their mind. Summarize what you hear they want that they don’t have now, and why it’s important to them. If they say they want to know what to do, to figure out, or to understand better, consider asking these questions:

The answers will help define both the direction of your conversation and the milestones to measure progress.

Whether you are a leader, coach, team member, or colleague, the more you give up the habit of already knowing what someone means or wants, the more you will connect with them. Stay curious and confirm what you think they mean and want. They will feel seen, heard, and valued.

How Coaching can Change the World 

Change can be challenging. Anyone who's ever tried to make a significant change in life has experienced the growing pains that come from evolving past your current reality.

Uncertain times often prompt us to take time for self-reflection and re-evaluate the type of world we want to live in. 

Most of the world's problems are connected to how we relate to each other as people, which raises the question: what if we had the skills to relate to one another better?

In this post, we'll look at how coaching can impact the world, explore evolutionary coaching principles and discuss the role it could play in evolving humanity.

Can Coaching Help Us Co-create a Better World?

Coaches exist to help people reach their true potential. Once you expand your consciousness and realise there is more beyond your current identity. You can experience the magic of transformation and recognise opportunities that will help you reach your highest potential.

If we all had the skills to better communicate, understand our emotions, and accept each other, what kind of world would that be?

When you embark on a journey working with a coach, you learn the skills you need to help manage life's challenges more effectively. Coaching skills build resilience, self-esteem, self-confidence and healthy relationships. Through self-acceptance, self-awareness and self-discovery, you'll gain better insight into how you fit in the world. 

While developing the skills to self-regulate your emotions, meet your needs, communicate better and set clear boundaries. Which encourages you to live from an authentic place that is aligned with who you really are at a soul level.  

How Coaching Impacts the Workplace–and the World

If coaching can positively impact one person. What impact could it have on the world if we adopted coaching principles in everyday life? 

A study on the effects of coaching in the workplace stated that 80% of team members that received coaching had more self-confidence. While 70% benefited from improved work performance, better relationships and improved communication skills. It concluded that 86% of the companies reported they recouped their investment after investing in coaching for their team. 

With more and more organisations prioritising staff well-being. Coaching skills such as mindfulness are now commonplace in modern working environments. 

Mindfulness can be used as a tool to help deal with stress management and productivity. While reducing work pressure, stress and anxiety. Thus creating a happier workforce–and happier teams.

Leaders who adopt coaching strategies to manage their workforce have the opportunity to help raise the consciousness of their team and nurture their potential. 

One of the signs of good leadership is empathy and self-awareness. If leaders of schools, organisations and even governments adopted coaching in their training methods. It could unlock more of the hidden potential we need to help raise the consciousness of the world.  

What is the Evolution of Coaching? 

Evolutionary Coaching is based on the principle that we are all interconnected. This evolutionary approach to coaching reconnects us as souls and acknowledges the potential of being part of something much bigger than ourselves.

The process involves the total integration of heart, mind, body and spirit to expand our consciousness to become the best we can be, in our work, home and spiritual life. 

Evolutionary Coaching goes beyond the surface, with a holistic approach that can take us from surviving to thriving. If we were to adopt coaching skills to change the world, seeing ourselves as ‘one’ can help us move past the old patterns that keep us divided. Evolutionary Coaching helps us live from a more aligned and peaceful place where we work in harmony while living our purpose.

So, How do you Know it's Time to Become an Evolutionary Coach?

Do you find yourself feeling called to do something bigger than yourself? Where you help people reach their full potential. If people already come to you for advice and you genuinely care about how they feel. Could you be a coach?  

If any of these questions sound like you, maybe coaching is your next calling? 

If you can only see a future where you can make an impact on the world positively. And these points resonate with the type of world you want to create. Coaching could be your next step. 

Reimagine The Future with COACHING

If we dream of changing the world, we have to evolve as people. While it might seem difficult to let go of the things that no longer align with the type of world we aspire to live in. Having better awareness and the right skills to consciously create the world we want can help us evolve to a better place.

If you see a future in being a coach register for our free webinar HERE. 

Coaching is a powerful tool we can use to fast-track our progress so that we can live the life we dream of. A coach allows us to step back and see the bigger picture, develop our strengths, work on our weak spots and build better relationships with others and ourselves. 

Sometimes, we ourselves are the biggest block to success and, without even realising it, we self-sabotage great opportunities that come our way. Getting an outsider’s opinion - one who already has the tools and skills we need - is invaluable in removing all that stands in our way to feeling happy and fulfilled.

We aren’t naturally born with every single skill needed to excel in life, so why not use a life coach to help us get there? Below we share the biggest takeaways of six coaches who benefited from life coaching - and how you can, too!

Frederik Engelsman - Partner at Create2Experience Leadership Impact
"I am my own coach through ‘self’-coaching."

Once we work with a life coach, often the experience will reward us with a variety of tools that we can use in every facet of our life: from relationships to our wellness as well as in business. These skills don’t disappear when you finish the coaching process, they stay with you for life and you can build upon them, too. The more we learn and the more tools we pick up along our coaching journey, the better we get at solving problems with ease and efficiency. 

Vikram Abhishek Mall - Founder at Bedoha, Leadership Coach, Facilitator, Trainer
"Communication - I have learned to listen. Listen deeply and communicate compassionately."

Often, when we are in conversation with someone else, we are waiting for our time to respond rather than really listen. This can block us from engaging with others and making them feel heard. A coach can help us to become a better listener, so others feel more understood. We can also always learn to communicate in a better way. Whether we don’t deal well with confrontation or lack tact, a coach can pinpoint which areas need improving. 

Adrijana Strnad - Executive & Team Coaching, Leadership Training, Facilitation
"I learned what it means to be in the driving seat of my choices - and respond rather than react to what’s offered to me by life."

We can either actively direct our life - or just let life happen to us. By gaining control of the steering wheel, we navigate our trajectory and head towards a path that makes us feel alive, inspired and joyful. A coach can guide and show us the way when it comes to living our dream life, where we feel happy and in control.

Isabelle Courtney - Associate Lead Consultant at JMJ Associates
"Coaching has transformed the relationships with the people I love the most in my life."

The quality of our relationships can have a substantial impact on our life. They can either make us feel connected, confident and supported - or misunderstood, alone and stressed out. Coaching can help us to work through our problem areas, where we perhaps need to work on boundaries or ascertain whether certain people deserve to be in our life.

Damian Fearns - Trainer, Director, Coach, and Psychologist at TNM Coaching
"Coaching has shown me that I don’t need ALL the answers to make a change or a move."

Many of us can suffer from ‘Imposter Syndrome’ at one stage or another in our lives, when we feel we are inadequate and not good enough to advance in our lives. This can affect our confidence, self worth and progression in a big way. By employing the help of a coach, we can utilise tools that allow us to see that it's okay to fail, and that we don’t need to be perfect in order to succeed. 

Gina Paigen - Lead Consultant at Leadership Niagara New York
"Coaching has provided an opportunity for me to bring my gifts, and to be of service to the awakening of human consciousness."

There is nothing greater and more fulfilling than finding out what your gifts are, and being able to express them to the world. A coach can unlock your hidden talents and help you formulate a step-by-step plan to turn your dreams into reality.

Could coaching change your life?
Join the TNM Coaching Academy

Coach Training programs offer the chance for you to change your own life but also those around you. Your personal and work relationships benefit from this. If you are curious about becoming a coach but want to see if it’s right for you then join our free webinar. Zoran Todorovic MCC, voted as one of the top 20 UK coaches, will show you the steps you need to become a coach. 

We all go through periods in life where we want to make significant changes in our careers. Maybe it's a new promotion, to study something new or enter a whole new industry altogether. The average person spends one-third of their life at work, with a global study of one billion people reporting that only 15% of full-time workers are actually engaged and happy in the workplace. This raises the question: if we spend so much of our lives at work, isn't it worth doing what we love. 

There are many reasons why people choose to change direction. Whether it's to pursue a passion, follow a dream or find more meaning and fulfilment in life. Most of life's most challenging decisions come down to what's in the best alignment for you. 

If you've ever thought about pivoting your career, following your passion or doing something more meaningful, here's our guide on how to become a coach. 

What is Coaching?

If you're familiar with the personal development world, you will have heard the term coach quite often. Personal development coaching is a profession that covers a wide range of methods and disciplines. Whether it's Love Coaching, Life Coaching or Business Coaching. All coaches work with clients to help them achieve success in life where they're struggling or feel held back. 

People often hire a coach to help them with specific areas of life, such as business, romance or finances. They feel they need guidance to help them find clarity, overcome obstacles, achieve greater success and reach their true potential. 

How Does Coaching Work? 

As a coach, you'll guide your clients with the tools they need to get to the heart of what's holding them back. The role of a coach is to listen and help clients see things from a different perspective, share knowledge, and give them the tools to make a difference in their own life.

What are the Benefits of Coaching

When it comes to coaching, the benefits are not just in the results you get with your clients. Coaching is also beneficial for your own personal growth. It's a gratifying and enriching career path that offers you the opportunity to help change people's lives. Giving you the freedom and flexibility to create the life you want to live on your own terms.

In today's world, it's become 'the norm' for most coaches to work online. All you need is a laptop and a secure WIFI connection to coach your clients from anywhere in the world. 

Here are some of the key benefits.

How to Become a Coach

When embarking on your new career as a coach, you may find you already have skills you can use with your clients; maybe you have experience running a business or working in HR. Whatever experience you already have is transferable and can help you decide what type of coach you want to be. 

Unlike other therapists and well-being professionals, coaching doesn't require the same level of qualifications to work with clients. Starting your coaching journey with a coaching program will allow you to professionally work with your clients. Helping you deal with any challenges that may arise, such as setting clear boundaries and dealing with complex topics.

You might find your new coaching skills can help you in other areas of life with your personal and professional relationships. 

Here are some things to keep in mind when choosing the right coaching course for you. 

Is a Coaching Career for You? 

If you see yourself working in a more meaningful career while helping people reach their true potential. Coaching could be for you. Coaching is not only rewarding, but it offers you the career freedom to work for yourself, create life on your own terms, choose your own hours, and help make a difference in the world. 

TNM Coaching Academy offers a wide range of coaching programs, from foundational coaching principles to more advanced practices. All our programs are taught by world-class coaches who have over 30 years of experience and are ICF accredited, which means by the end of your program, you'll have points that go towards becoming an accredited coach.

Twenty years ago, I was at a conference in Switzerland when I decided to parasail off one of the highest alps in the country. I like being on top of mountains and seeing the beautiful world below. I had no idea what I had agreed to do.

Once we got to the top, my task was to run and jump over the cliff. I had a parachute, and someone attached behind me, but I had to run as fast as I could so when we reached the edge, we would take off. Sound crazy? My brain thought so. It screamed at me to stop as I ran at full speed. My nerves exploded as I didn’t hesitate when the ground disappeared. My bones learned what it feels like to be courageous when you are terrified. I also knew I was going to experience something awesome as I saw my beautiful world in a new way.

Fear is a message warning us life could change. We often interpret (make up) the sensation to mean the change will be physically or psychologically harmful.

The parachute held us safely in the air, but my heart was still thumping as we floated past shiny ice ledges, glistening waterfalls, and green patches with white flowers. Within minutes, the town below came into view.

But the run to the cliff was the experience carved into my brain. The run into the unknown with my brain and body screaming at me was overwhelming and magnificent.

When my feet touched the ground and I had a chance to process the experience, I realized I had the power to override my brain when my analytical mind concluded the present situation was dangerous. As stupid as running to jump off a cliff seemed to be, I had both a sense of purpose and a deep desire to discover something new and beautiful. While running, I was flooded with fear, but I also sensed the magic in my courage. I felt gratitude for the fear.

I now teach coaches and leaders worldwide how to sense and embrace their fear in their difficult conversations. We want our clients and colleagues to boldly step into the unknown. We want them to find clarity and possibilities when exploring their fears.

They may be emotional, hesitant, and even resistant. Instead of easing their fears, we need to call forth our courageous presence, so they feel we are running toward the cliff by their side.

 Courage is a conscious choice

Courage isn’t self-talk. It’s self-awareness. To have a courageous presence, you need to acknowledge your fear so you can choose what to do with it.

When you fear your client or colleague is judging you, or they won’t find value in your conversation, or you’re going to say something stupid, you can also remember to be grateful, to care, and to exhale deeply to counterbalance your fear. Then use your compassionate curiosity to courageously coach even when you feel fear.

Let your courage and care soften your fear or impatience so they might embrace or at least taste the future they are about to create.

You can also use memories to overpower your fear. When I feel my fear rise up, I recall a Halloween party where sister and her college professor husband came dressed as clowns. She mustered the courage to do a silly dance under a strobe light. As her fear faded and her silliness ramped up, her husband inched toward her, cautiously, step by step, until he was in her light. He then broke into a crazy dance, too.

Fear indicates something could change and you can’t predict what will now happen. If you stay calm, caring, and add some lightness to the interaction when they start to move forward, your courage can activate their willingness to leap.

Overriding Your Need to Know

The novelist Pico Iyer, having traveled with the Dalai Lama, said the one thing that seemed to give people reassurance and confidence was when the Dali Lama would answer their questions with, “I don’t know.” He made it okay to not know.

Iyer also says, “The opposite of knowledge isn’t always ignorance. It can be wonder.”

Can you use a sense of wonder to activate your courage? Can you shift from fear to being curious about how the interesting person you are with sees their future and possible new experiences?

The pandemic taught us that nothing is certain. Life, and people, can surprise us every day. When you think confidence is being proficient and having all the answers, you limit your conversations. You need to break the habit of having to know the answers if you’re going to discover what is new and amazing.

Try these four steps:

  1. Spend more time pausing before you respond.
  2. Receive what people give you in their words, their emotions, and their gestures.
  3. Take a moment to appreciate where they find themselves right now.
  4. When you have the urge to give someone a brilliant insight, ask yourself, “If I share what I heard and sense from them with compassionate curiosity, what might we see that we weren’t looking for?”

To be a good coach, leader, or friend embrace ambiguity with courage. Give up being the one who knows and must do things correctly so you can be the one who engages people in creative dialogue. Be curious about knowing what you don’t know so you can discover together what is on the other side of the mountain.

Let’s let go of the past and jump off the cliff together to get a new view of this beautiful world we live in. This is the power of coaching. Call forth your courage so you can ignite courage in others.

Now that I recognize where my self-doubt comes from, I don’t let it control my actions. I have the power to take action despite my fear.

I have become less dependent on what other people say and instead look for validation internally. It’s like I have become my own best friend.

I received these comments from professional women after a year-long coaching relationship. At the end of the coaching program, rolled out as a part of the company’s commitment to achieving a gender-balanced workforce, the participants were asked to identify the areas where coaching had been most beneficial. The top three of those areas were:

These three areas might look like they have nothing in common. But what contributed to the improvement in all three areas was each client’s work on identifying the source of self-doubt. 

Despite the structural and cultural challenges women face in the workplace, women have significant power to build personal strategies for self-empowerment and how to step into their professional and personal vision. Learning to manage your fear is the starting point.

Fear can be useful – the rational kind keeps us from a chasing lion; fear based in survival. But that fear is different from irrational fear, which is fed by doubt. This kind of fear blocks our growth, prevents us from stepping up in our professional and overall vision of our lives.

How can coaching help?

If you or your client expect to be free from fear, you will be disappointed. In my experience, fear will hardly ever go away. It’s part of being human. But you can act despite fear. This is what I call courage.

Courage can be developed with three steps:

  1. Facing fear
  2. Befriending fear
  3. Activating the hero within

1. Facing Fear

When clients reflect on the stories they tell themselves, they can see the difference between the facts and illusion. Naming a fear and recognizing it takes away some of its power. By doing so, fear stops being treated as truth and is seen for the illusion it is.

The most common types of fear I’ve seen clients recognize through coaching conversations are:

The list of possible fears is much longer: fear of being exposed as an “imposter”, fear of saying the wrong thing, making the wrong decision or fear of growing responsibilities.

2. Befriending fear

Resisting fear can only strengthen it. When clients find their strategies to befriend their fear, it becomes a source of valuable insight.

After helping a client recognize their fear, the next questions you may ask are:

This exploration helps clients to understand their fear, sit with it and embrace “growth fear” instead of becoming paralyzed by it.

3. Activating the hero within

Coaching helps women take the steps needed to embrace their inner power.

The experiences and circumstances that push women through their fears lead them to discover unimagined internal strength. In my experience, they’ll start to:

When clients develop strategies to act despite fear, they become courageous and open to limitless possibilities. As they push through discomfort, they become more resilient on their journey to professional and personal fulfillment.

One last, personal note – ironically, the biggest fear I personally encounter in coaching conversations (and one of my greatest fears) is the fear of not leaving your mark on the world. Coaching can help everyone, not only women, handle self-doubt and grow into a courageous leader who pushes through fear and makes a significant positive difference.

Coaching is an enriching and meaningful career that not only enhances the lives of the people you coach but can radically change your world too. 

Whether you're thinking of pivoting your career to become a full-time life coach or you want to simply uplevel your skills and become a better team member or leader. Knowing the amazing ways coaching can impact your work and personal life is an important place to start if you want to discover whether coaching really is for you.

For most newbie coaches, the impact they can make on people's lives is the main draw to becoming a coach. However, they soon realise that once they start their coaching journey, there's more to coaching than just being of service to your clients. 

In this post, we'll answer some of the most common queries about the benefits of coaching. So, no matter if you're just starting your coaching career or you're a seasoned coach, you'll find all the juicy benefits you need to know to help you decide if coaching is for you and how you can improve your work and personal life.

Solving the Common Misconceptions About Coaching 

If you're new to the world of coaching, it can be confusing to know exactly what coaching is. Before you start, it's important to distinguish what coaching really is and what it definitely is not. 

There are many misleading misconceptions regarding coaching, one which is that coaching is simply telling people what to do. While giving advice IS part of the process. Some of the fundamental ethics of coaching are based on autonomy, personal responsibility, respect and permission–which goes beyond just sharing your opinion.

This means having respect for people's ability to choose and make decisions for themselves, while seeking permission to help people to form their own conclusions about their choices and not infringing on their free will. In essence, coaching is a partnership between the coach and the coachee, centering around the coach acting as a guide to help the client reach their true potential–and is less about giving unsolicited advice or making decisions for people. 

Are Coaching, Mentoring and Therapy the Same Thing?

Coach, therapist and mentor. Have you ever confused these terms or wondered if they're all the same thing? These words are commonly used to describe someone who helps people develop and grow beyond their current reality. But can be confused or used interactable when in fact, they are actually quite different. 

What coaching is not...

While there are similarities and overlaps in all of these professions. Coaching doesn't require any official medical or psychological training to work with clients, needed for a therapist and/or a psychologist. 

Does Coaching Help YOU Grow?

Another common misconception about coaching stems from the belief that it's all about the people you coach. While serving your clients is the main work of a coach, the work you do on yourself is also one of the most challenging and rewarding parts of the job. 

In the beginning, learning the skills to improve your communication, become a better listener, a better leader, set boundaries and overcome challenges can seem client-focused.

But you will be surprised to find that learning these skills will also impact your own life and accelerate your own growth. Over time, you'll find yourself integrating these skills into your personal and business relationships. 

You may see things in yourself you've never seen before, you may overcome challenges in your professional and personal relationships more easily. While evolving a greater sense of awareness about yourself and others that stretches far beyond what you expected. 

How Coaching Actually Works 

Life coaches are some of the most sought after people for ambitious seekers who want to level up in areas of their life where they might feel stuck or lack the clarity to progress. 

Coaching gives people a road map to achieve their true potential by helping them create a vision for their future, while helping them on their journey to execute their plan. 

When it comes to coaching, there is no one size fits all approach. It can take on a number of forms and disciplines, that can range from one-on-one coaching to couples coaching or even be in a group setting. 

In essence, all forms of coaching help people go beyond their limitations by guiding them to a better future. Whether it's love and relationship coaching, life coaching or health and well-being, it's about demonstrating how you can help people achieve success and get results. 

What are the Benefits of Coaching 

Coaching is one of the fastest-growing industries worldwide (1), with more and more people looking for support when changing their lives. Whether it's to enhance their job prospects, find love or improve their general sense of well-being. Coaching is a highly sought after and flexible business. 

As job markets fluctuate and people feel more and more uncertain about the future, business professionals are seeking clarity, support and guidance to help them find their purpose, experience more fulfilment and create a life they truly love. 

Coaching not only enhances your career, it also enhances your life. Here are some of the key benefits:

Work Benefits 

Life Benefits 

Could Coaching Be for You?

If you're looking to pivot your career, upgrade your professional skills or become a better leader in the workplace. Life Coaching can give you the tangible skills you need to become a better communicator, while helping you grow a meaningful and flexible business. If you're a good listener that wants to inspire people and help them grow beyond their comfort zone, maybe coaching is for you?

Are you ready to take the next step in finding your purpose and making a difference in the world? Learn what it takes to become a Life Coach. Check out our list of Evolutionary Coach Training Programs and free webinars to help you start your new and rewarding career in coaching. 

Many leadership practices and coaching competencies outline rules for asking good questions. Common ones include: Ask open questions that start with What, When, Where, and How. Avoid Why questions.

These suggestions are misleading.

It is more important that you are clear about your intent, the emotions you feel when you ask the questions, and your judgment about the person you are talking to.

Additionally, the time you spend trying to find a good question to ask, is time you are in your head and not present to the person you are with. As I say in The Discomfort Zone, “They want you to be present more than they need you to be perfect.”

What is the intention of your questions?

The person must feel your intentions are in their best interest throughout the conversation. As soon as you shift to wanting them to learn something or change because you think they should, they will feel pushed even if you are asking open questions.

Consider your intention when asking, “What did you think would happen? When did you decide they were wrong? Where is this likely to happen?” If you are asking out of curiosity and a desire for clarity, your questions will stimulate self-reflection. If your intention is to get them to see the faults in their thinking, they will see you trying to convince them they are wrong instead of working to find a solution. They will either become defensive or shut down instead of open up.

Even a Why question can be good if you are asking with compassionate curiosity.

You must have an emotional intention focused on helping the person achieve the result they want or on an outcome that you both want. Clearly state this intention up front – define the outcome you want to help the person achieve that they desire as well. People need to feel you genuinely care about their desires or they will assume you just want them to think like you.

What emotions are you feeling when you deliver your questions?

Even if you go into the conversation feeling calm and centered, you may feel impatient, uncomfortable, or eager to help while they are describing their situation. These emotions make your questions feel judgmental or pushy, as if you are criticizing them and/or leading them to what you want them to see. They will feel you are trying to convince them or quiet them. They will react with irritation, compliance, or retreat.

Notice when you begin to feel irritated and impatient. Catch your urge to interrupt or when you start explaining your questions. Exhale – let the tension subside.

Recall the positive intention you had for the conversation in the first place. Restate your intention before you ask what would be most important for them to look at next.

Do your best not to get tangled in their reactions. If you are calm, comfortable. and present to the other person, you are better able to use your questions to help them reflect and discover.

Do your questions reflect respect for the person regardless if you disagree?

An open conversation requires a feeling of mutual respect. Ensure you trust the person’s ability to grow or rebuild your respect if you need to before your enter the conversation. They will not hear you if you “know better” and talk as if they are ignorant. Even if you disagree with their perspective, honor the person anyway. Then ask if you can share your opinion or something you learned from past experience. Offering an opinion is easier to hear than presenting facts that make someone wrong or inadequate.

Reflections can lead to good questions

I believe that summarizing what someone is telling you – including encapsulating the major elements of their story in just a few words – and then asking a question that arises from your curiosity is better than worrying about forming a good question. Try to help them objectively observe their story so they may see beyond their limited perspective.

Even closed questions that follow your summaries such as, “Is this correct? Do you want to change this pattern? Is this what bothers you most?” can be powerful clarifiers. Yes, it would be good to know, “What would you like to have instead of this situation? When did this first become a problem for you? What’s stopping you from deciding or taking action?” but don’t spend time trying to remember these questions if they don’t emerge from your curiosity.

Instead of trying to remember or frame your questions correctly, exhale, softy see the person with compassion and care, and then trust they can find a way forward if you stay keenly interested in their perspective and choices. Your questions will be good.

This article was first published on Outsmartyourbrain.com

Connect

Join our tribe

TNM Coaching
2023 All rights reserved
lockcrosschevron-rightarrow-right