No matter how right you know you are, the person you want to convince to think differently isn’t looking for facts or logic.
To influence means you affect a change or shift in thinking. Influence doesn’t mean to force or teach someone; to influence thinking is to prompt insights that could expand the way someone thinks, possibly affecting their choices and behavior.
When you argue, trying to convince someone to see things differently, they feel as if you are making them wrong. Often, they feel as if you think they are stupid. This triggers their anger or shame. Either emotion blocks them from hearing you even if your intention is to help them grow or heal.
It is important that your intention to influence someone to see a bigger picture must be because you want them to achieve something important to them, not because you want to be right or feel heard. Let them know what goal you want to help them achieve. Or ask if a different perspective of the situation would help them understand the reasoning behind others’ beliefs or actions. They must feel your intention is to help reach their goal, or a mutual goal. Words aren’t enough. They must trust you care is genuine and you aren’t there just to get what you want.
Follow the steps below for engaging someone in a conversation. After a few minutes, you can evaluate if it feels like you might be able to move toward a mutual understanding or not.
If there has been no movement in the conversation after a few minutes, thank them for the chance to share your views and ask if you can come back to the topic in the future. Often, they will consider the value of the opportunity after your conversation is over and be more open the next time. If this doesn’t happen, then let it go if you can. You will live with less stress than trying to engage with a brick wall.
If you go into the conversation feeling care and respect for the person, and then remain calm throughout the interaction, your chances to influence their thinking rise. Frequently stop and take a breath to stay emotionally centered. You can find ways to regulate your emotions on this blog post, How to Manage Your Emotional Reactions.
Notice when you begin to feel irritated and want to defend your point of view. Exhale and remember you are hoping for a chance to influence, not coerce their thinking. Let your tension subside. This will also give you time to assess how to relate your point of view to their perspective, or at least to recall your mutual outcome.
Notice the urge to interrupt or even insult the person. Return to your feeling of positive regard.
Does the person’s aggressiveness shut you down or elevate your anger? Remember they are protecting their point of view and self-concept, which feel challenged in the moment. If you stay calm, their emotions might subside. If their defensiveness increases, calmly state you don’t feel like you will come to a mutual understanding and would like to move on.
Do your best not to get tangled in their reactions. If you are calm, comfortable. and present to the other person, you might see opportunities to acknowledge their ideas and encourage exploration.
You can’t convince a closed mind, but you can influence someone once they open up to you.
Zoran Todorovic has been recognised as one of the top 20 coaches to work with in the UK by Influence Digest Digital. His work as a Master Certified Coach and Facilitator within the field of TNM Coaching, has catapulted him to great heights as he practises his passion of helping others create their best lives.
With over 20 years of experience, he has a plethora of experience which includes leadership training, communications mentor coaching and teaching classes internationally. He has advised global organisations such as The United Nations, Microsoft Mobile and top level Executives; teaching them how to successfully lead and accomplish at a high level. His work has led to him being published in the likes of Fortune Magazine, Harvard Communications Newsletter and Investors Business Daily; and he continues to share this wealth of knowledge and wisdom with others and assist them in living the life they dream of.
Zoran comments on his latest accolade:
I am privileged and honoured to be voted as a top 20 coach in the UK. I am as good of a coach as my client's results and I was lucky to attract wonderful, willing, committed individuals to coach with me. Coaching is an interdevelopmental process and the coach grows along with the clients. I have become the coach I am today due to my client's desire and drive to grow, evolve and create an amazing life. Thank you to all the wonderful people who coach with me, I grew with you!
Zoran’s biggest legacy is his passion for helping people to see the magic within themselves and life as a whole. He believes that when we begin to switch on to our full potential that the magic around us begins to unfold. Opportunities arise, new friendships, better careers, optimum health and much more. When we think about magic, we can often think of something that is mystical, fabricated and unreal and what Zoran and TNM Coaching want to do is shift this perception. We can all create magic, everyday. It’s not something out of reach and once we begin on this journey of accepting it as a real part of our lives, that's when the true magic of transformation happens!
Recently TNM Coaching has undergone a huge transformation and now provides coaching in Life and Business, as well as launching their very own Academy to train future coaches of tomorrow. TNM believes in equipping individuals with the tools they need to feel empowered and confident. Working at establishing patterns, blocks which stop individuals from progressing and moving forward.
The concept is born from Zoran’s own personal mission- to help individuals enhance their energetic influence by getting them aligned with the law of attraction. A passionate activist for the evolution of the human spirit, Zoran’s transformative coaching techniques have the ability to completely revolutionise lives. His one to one sessions have changed the lives of so many.
Flexible. Intuitive. Responsive. Caring. From our first coaching session together, Zoran helped me clarify my thoughts on my career transition and identify what I needed to do to move forward. He helped me see the ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ by breaking down the steps I needed to take into bite-sized actions. I would highly recommend Zoran as both a career and personal coach - in fact, this combination is what makes Zoran such a wonderful coach and human being to work with. His follow-through is remarkable, as is his steadfast positive attitude.
What I found most helpful about Zoran’s coaching was his ability to really see me—or maybe I should say, see the real me! I feel like Zoran helped free the potential in me. Like most people, so much of what I do at work and at home is worthwhile but invisible and fragmented. Working with Zoran helped me value what I do and gave me the courage to do things in a bigger, more visible way. Thank you Zoran for pushing me into my “big leap”!
Zoran was able to instantly tune into my mission and to offer validation, acknowledgement, and inspiration in a laser coaching flash interaction. As a result, I felt more uplifted and clear about my mission and purpose. I can highly recommend Zoran to anyone seeking a highly masterful, easy to connect with guide and coach.
True leaders stay curious. It’s this constant quest to learn, question and seek; which creates great visionaries. That’s where coaching can be a tool to help individuals see things from another perspective as well as helping to identify weaknesses and build on strengths. Stay tuned as TNM continues to launch free tools to help individuals step up in every level of life- professionally, personally and spiritually. If you are curious to find out more join one of our free Introduction to Coaching Webinars here.
When things around us change, it can offer us the perfect opportunity to reassess our lives. To stop and evaluate whether our current lifestyle, career and living situation truly reflects our dream scenario. If it doesn’t, now is the time to take control and create the life you have always wanted!
Life is too short to just let it pass you by or settle for less than. A shake-up in your circumstances can serve as a powerful and transformative crossroad on your path. Turning your wildest dreams into a reality doesn’t have to remain a fantasy. Use the momentum of change as a springboard to start taking steps towards achieving your goals and living your most authentic, happiest life.
Freedom means different things to different people. For some it may signify being able to go to the beach in the middle of the day and swim in the sea. For others it may mean more time with loved ones, or it could even mean not having to set an alarm in the morning. The first step to defining your own understanding of freedom is to start delving into your subconscious. Your thoughts may turn to getting a bigger salary. Move past the financial aspect and instead ask yourself what could that money buy you or how it would make you feel? Because in most cases, it’s not about the money itself - it’s about what it can afford you. A sense of security or the ability to satisfy your wanderlust, perhaps. Get to the root of the matter and discover what your heart longs for.
A life without a roadmap can take you just about anywhere. Instead of drifting along and letting life happen to you, it’s time to get specific about the direction you want to head into. Ask the big question: Five years from now, if everything was going exactly how you wanted it to, what would your life look like? Spend 30 minutes really mapping this out. Write about your daily routine, where you would be living, what kind of house you would have, who you would be with and how you would feel. Do not hold back! This is your dream - don’t put limitations on it! Every morning visualise and really feel your dream life as if it’s actually happening. Connect to the emotion of it and how incredibly happy it would make you feel. Carry this feeling with you throughout your day and wait for incredible synchronicities to unfold!
Sometimes it can feel as if where we are in life and where we want to get to is (still) worlds apart! But the first step to connecting the two is to take stock of where you are right now. Write down your current lifestyle and really get into the details. Then write a list of where you want to be. So if you’re currently living in England but you want to make the move to Mexico, write the two places next to one another. Then it’s time to get real with yourself and ask why this hasn’t happened yet, what is stopping you from going for it and what it would take to get there. You will feel the excitement bubbling up as you write these powerful realisations down! It’s time to take action - a dream without a plan is merely a wish! You are responsible for your life - no one else. It’s up to you to make it happen.
Sometimes it’s not about bringing in the new, but letting go of the old. In which areas of your life do you find yourself feeling trapped or uninspired? Perhaps you spend a lot of time looking after others and not enough time caring for yourself. Do you work too hard and place so much emphasis on your to-do lists that life feels less fun? Create a daily routine for yourself which points you in the direction of the new. Sometimes the process isn’t as glamorous or as exciting as we would have hoped. If you want to get fit and strong, for example, then you need to make the time to exercise and cook nourishing foods. Think about the results you want and ask yourself whether your current lifestyle marries up to your goals? Then look for ways to create more of what you want in your life, so that you can become the best version of yourself.
What stories are you telling yourself that will keep you stuck where you are? Our beliefs are just that; beliefs. Not facts, but a set of thoughts that we keep repeating in our heads. And sometimes they are outright lies! ‘I am not good enough’ or ‘I don’t have a talent’ are lies we tell ourselves in order to remain ‘safe’ by staying comfortable in a place that feels familiar to us. Write down these negative thoughts and ask yourself whether they align with your dream life. If they don’t, it’s time to change the narrative and create new ways of thinking that move you towards freedom and fulfillment.
They say that life begins outside of your comfort zone, and it’s absolutely true. Sometimes we can hold onto the idea of security and certainty so much that we fail to realise that the only thing it is certain to bring is guaranteed stagnation, boredom and unfulfillment. Change is hard, it thrusts us into the unknown where anything can happen. But guess what? That ‘anything’ could be your wildest dreams! Taking risks, exploring and getting out into the world is your key to opening up new doors.
We mentioned previously that creating a life of freedom does take responsibility and action. Those you see who have mastered this may appear to have landed on their feet at this moment. However, that journey would have taken dedication to arrive at the end goal and there would have been failures or knockbacks along the way. But these mistakes and setbacks only guide you to the right path and make you more resilient. Trust in the process. If you win, you win. If you lose, you learn. And if you never try... well, you will never know!
Release what society or other people expect of you. Let go of any pressures of where you should be by now and what you should have achieved. So many times we are coerced into following a certain profession, pushed into starting a family or buying a house - forget the conventional lifestyle and follow what truly makes you happy.
You might say, ‘I’m too old to change careers and follow my dream of becoming a documentary filmmaker’. But guess what? The time will pass anyway! It’s never too late to start. Do you want to know who else started late in life?
Start now! You never know what’s around the corner for you.
Freedom is not only determined by our external world, it can also be a feeling or state of mind that resides within us. Observe your internal monologue and listen to how the voice in your head speaks to you. Is it encouraging? Or is it critical? Be aware of the conversations you have with yourself, and shift them to loving and kind thoughts. In this way we can free ourselves from judgement and become our own cheerleader. Freedom always starts within, when we free ourselves from beliefs that hold us back or our ‘inner critic’, we can really start to feel empowered and blossom!
If you are looking for a career with more freedom then perhaps it’s time to become a coach. TNM hosts the world’s only ICF accredited Evolutionary Coach Training Program. This focusses beyond helping others gain success to helping the entire consciousness shift. Are you someone who thrives when helping others? Do people often seek you out for advice? Do others look to you for support? Now it's time to awaken your inner coach and begin a career in coaching. Book a free Discovery Call today with one of our TNM Academy Coaches to find out if this could be the career you have been waiting for.
Enrollment is now open for our
Evolutionary Coach Training Program Foundation
starting 27th April 2022.
Find out more about this program here
Our daily habits have the power to transform our lives in an immeasurable way and catapult us to greatness. So why do we find it so hard to execute on them? Instead of following through, we often give up or let them fall by the wayside and end up with feelings of disappointment and self-loathing. Often it’s not just mere laziness that’s holding us back; but instead our beliefs, environment, lifestyle or lack of tools at our disposal. So what can we do to ensure we don't slip up and keep forging ahead with unbridled enthusiasm?
We can’t move forward if we don’t know which direction we are going in. So in order to build good habits, first we must get clear on exactly what it is that we want to achieve. Write about what you envision your future to look like. Imagine your ideal day and write a list of your top goals. Discover who you want to be and what that kind of person does in their day to day life.
If you want to get fit, then committing to two hours of exercise everyday including a ten km run and weights session is too much too soon. The sheer size of the task will soon have you putting it off until the next day, and the next day and the next. Don’t overdo it.
Often our routines need to get a shake up in order to steer us away from our automatic tendencies. We wake up and instead of getting out of bed, we reach for our phone and check our social media. This then morphs into an hour of scrolling mindlessly, making us feel stagnant and reluctant to start the day. Place your phone away from your bedside so you must get out of bed.
Telling others of your dreams and plans is a great way to ensure you follow through on what you have promised yourself. An even better idea is to ask them to entrust you with their goals also. That way you both keep each other on track and check in with one another. We’re less likely to postpone tasks if we know that someone will be checking in on us.
Procrastinating too much? Are you finding your day escapes you? You have the best intentions but before you know it, it’s evening and you don’t have much to show for the day. Try the Pomodoro method. Developed by university student Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980’s, who was struggling with completing assignments and studying. It involves setting a timer for a period of 25 minutes followed by a five minute break. Repeat this four times and then you earn yourself a 20 minute break. This creates a sense of urgency and pressure as you are up against the clock.
If you find yourself surrounded by clutter, mess and piles of clothes or paperwork, your mind will always be distracted by your domestic duties. It will be difficult to feel creative or motivated. It’s not inspiring to go for a run when we can’t find our workout gear from the laundry basket. Create a clean, fresh space. In order to invite in the new, we must release the old. Go through your wardrobe and belongings and donate or recycle anything which no longer serves you. It's all about setting yourself up for success. Lay out your workout clothes in the morning. Have your laptop fully charged and ready to work. Prepare your meals ahead of time and have yummy but healthy snacks ready to eat.
If you want to learn how to grow a successful business or career then start mingling with others who are also looking to do the same or even beter mix with those who are already there. If you can't find any then look to social channels, influencers, and key figures who can inspire you. Immerse yourself in these worlds and learn from the best and get motivated. Whatever we are exposed to; has a direct influence on our thoughts and actions.
If we only follow through on our daily routines when we feel like it, then we set ourselves up for failure. The days that we don't feel like eating healthy or studying are the MOST important day to do these things. If we can push through those feelings of resistance we train our brain to treat our tasks as non-negotiable. It's this consistency which creates real progress.
Lead the life of your dreams!
The power of learning and growing with like-minded people creates a strong tribe mentality, a real sense of community. The current climate has enabled us to embrace solidarity, and made us realise that we are stronger and far more capable when we work together.
Individualist vs Collectivist - how we are moving towards collectivism
We are experiencing a major evolution in consciousness. We are moving away from old paradigms of self. The movement from ‘I’ to ‘we’ is a powerful one. We are acknowledging our oneness and we are shifting our mindset. We are so much stronger as a collective; this is where we can step into our power and make great changes by supporting and uplifting one another!
The role of groups in transformation
TNM LIFE classes are streaming live, which boosts their transformative impact. Being able to speak with one another in real time opens up the floor for questions, group discussions and open conversations. The impact of having direct responses helps us to feel understood and listened to. According to global research analyst Josh Bersin, studying alone allows us to remember 28% of what we learn after two days, and 46% when we repeat the material. However, in a group environment this number increases to a whopping 69% thanks to actively using the information in the form of questions, recalling or discussions.
Accountability is realising that our decisions affect not only ourselves, but also those around us. Taking responsibility for the way we navigate life can help us to make better decisions. In a group environment, we feel as if we are in it together. This feeling of camaraderie encourages us to show up for one another and not let each other down. And having the lifeline of our community to hold onto during moments of weakness can provide vital support.
Sharing within a group environment helps to establish connections and a sense of trust. This allows us to delve deeper into our journey and open up even more. Vulnerability is key to healing; the more we share, the better the responses we get. When you realise others are going through the same processes and challenges as you, you realise you are not alone on your journey. By understanding our struggles are similar, we can move past them and support one another.
Improved communication skills
Being able to uncover your own issues and share them with others, but also listening and helping to guide others in dealing with their problems will, in turn, lead to improved communication skills. It also fosters empathy and compassion. By sharing what we are going through, on the other hand, we learn to better express ourselves. Verbalising our feelings helps to release the power they can have over us. This skill alone can help us to self-regulate our emotions, and deal with conflict or challenges in a healthy way.
Development of self-awareness
Group work allows individuals to develop self-awareness by listening to others with similar issues, and receiving feedback on their own challenges. From here, we can understand our own needs, habits, desires, strengths and weaknesses better. When we have a more rounded understanding of ourselves, we can identify where we are able to improve in life and which areas require change. Being self-aware can also identify our unique stressors, so we can build coping mechanisms to create a more balanced and happy life.
Improved critical thinking and problem solving
Collaborative learning leads us to look at our own situation through an objective lens. We all have our struggles and this is nothing to be ashamed of. When we receive feedback and insights from someone else’s point of view, it can help us to take a step back. Rather than continuing to focus on the problem, we can start to put our energy into finding solutions. This kind of critical thinking is vital to making changes and not allowing ourselves to be paralysed in emotions or get caught up in a victim mentality. We are capable of freeing ourselves from issues and have the ability to move past them.
Finding your voice
It’s not often in life that we can raise our concerns in a safe space without judgment or recourse. Sharing our feelings without a filter, speaking uninterrupted and feeling truly heard can build our confidence in a big way. It can help to prepare us for outside situations and give us the skills to become more vocal and stand up for ourselves.
Building deep connections and relationships
Human connection comes from relating to one another and our shared commonalities. This feeling of understanding and acceptance can help us build new relationships and forge wonderful connections. Herd mentality means you and others in a group can influence each other positively - which builds healthy friendships. Having support in our day-to-day lives is imperative to feeling fulfilled and happy.
Our social networks also affect our neurological networks...think about that for a moment. We have specialised brain cells called mirror neurons that allow us to learn and empathise with others by observing their actions. Beautiful things can happen when everyone is in the mindset of transformation and working on becoming the best version of themselves.
Learning from one another
The diversity of a group made up of people from different socio-economic backgrounds, and of different genders, ethnicities, sexualities, religions and so forth gives a wide array of perspectives and opinions. This can challenge participants to view their situation in a way they otherwise would not have done. This is a wonderful opportunity for group members to learn from one another. We can take on the role of a mentor or role model for others, which is incredibly empowering. Everyone has something to offer.
TNM Life is a global learning community designed for YOU, someone committed to realising and fulfilling their personal potential and dedicated to the evolution of humanity and sustaining its brilliance. Our live, virtual Life Classes, Life Coaching and Life-Changing Events are designed to provide you with practical solutions to real-life challenges, and to give you the tools and skills to create a truly extraordinary and magical LIFE!
Sometimes it feels like life is merely happening to us and around us... we are just floating along with the current. We lack purpose and our dream life feels out of reach. BUT it doesn’t have to be that way. What if we told you that you actually have the power to create your own reality? We can equip you with the skills, knowledge and tools, so that you can get out there and start creating a life you once could only dream of. Learn from Zoran Todorovic in his latest free two hour manifesting masterclass, where he uncovers how to do this. Don’t forget to register for this live event on 28th October and 24th November. In the meantime, we’ve outlined some key points to explore to get you primed and ready for Zoran’s Manifestation Masterclass.
Creating reality is the art of creating your circumstance through the process of thinking and feeling it into reality; ‘’knowing it to be true’’. However it goes a lot deeper than just wishing for something to become true or positive thinking. Reality creation is a skill of knowing that life is not just happening to you, but that you are actively co creating your life with every thought, feeling and action.
Living the life of your dreams requires action and clarity. Even if you don’t know exactly what that is, you can be clear about how you would like to feel and use that as a basis for your intention. Life is not going to deliver you exactly what you want if even you are unsure of what that is. Visualising your ideal life, with as much detail as you can, creates a clear intention. Writing this down further clarifies your intent, as you start to co-create the kind of life you want to live.
Your emotions are incredibly powerful. When it comes to visualising your future, ensure that your dream life aligns with how you want to feel everyday. Whether it’s free, joyful, playful, in love or respected; you can begin to create the life of your dreams by engaging the emotions that will accompany your aspirations. It is important that the way you feel matches up to your dream life.
Practising a full and abundant attitude to life is imperative to attaining even more. When we are in a place of appreciation and wonder, then we are already practising having all that we desire. This eliminates a scarcity mindset. When we cling on to not having enough we project this idea out into the universe that we are not worthy, and guess what? The universe believes us and holds back it’s riches from our grasp. Get in the habit of writing down all you are grateful for each day, and watch your life flourish! Feel the emotion of pure joy as you acknowledge all that life has blessed you with. It doesn’t need to be something grand, it can be as simple as a delicious cup of coffee in the morning, a sunrise or having that moment of peace during a bath. Life’s simple luxuries can be just as satisfying as the big milestones like buying a house. Show gratitude for all that you have; big or small.
When you feel you are not worthy of something, the universe will agree with you and reflect this back to you. This is how powerful we are! It is so important to address any blocks before you embark on creating. Take a look at what you believe to be true about yourself and your life. What is stopping you? Are these facts or beliefs? How might they hinder you? It might be hard to dive into these questions as past experiences and traumas may begin to surface but it is crucial to uncovering your blocks. In order to move past pain we can’t just ‘get over it’ but we must go through it. Sit with it. Address it. Only then, when we have understood ourselves can we move forward and release the chains of the past.
When you vibrate on a higher wavelength, you attract better experiences, people and opportunities. Ensure you are feeling your best by exercising, meditation, journaling, spending time in nature and eating nourishing foods. Creating a strong, daily routine which incorporates all that you wish to achieve is a great way to show up for yourself every single day. Consistency is the key to moving forward in finding your purpose and creating your dream life.
As they say, ‘a dream without a plan is just a wish’. Nothing happens by merely wishing for it. If you want something in life, take inspired action. The more effort you put into the life you want to co-create, the more it will come together. Make a detailed plan and execute it! Write down your timelines, what needs to be done, who you need to contact and break down your goal in bite sized pieces. Day by day, you will be closer to being the person you always wanted to be.
Don’t hold on too tightly to any preconceived notions of what you want your future to look like. Sometimes the universe has something planned for you that is even more incredible than you initially imagined. And sometimes, the universe leads you down another path to protect you from something that would not have made you happy. Having the faith to surrender and believe that things are working in your favour, sends a clear message that you are in the flow state. The state to relinquish any control and be in a state of receiving. Trust in the universe and keep moving forward.
What's the secret to finding your purpose? Most people dream of becoming successful in all areas of life, a fulfilling career, healthy relationships and a life filled with more meaning.
Studies show that having a clear purpose not only helps give your life a sense of direction and more fulfilment but also has powerful health benefits. Researchers have found that having an increased sense of purpose in life can help you live longer than those that don't have any clear direction.
In recent times, 'finding your purpose' has become more deeply connected to creating a life of freedom. For many, the state of the world has made people look forward to living a life without restriction, where they can travel when they want, work from their laptop anywhere in the world and live life on their own terms.
When your world seems out of your control, what's the next step? The problem is most people think uncertainty is a bad thing when really, that's when the magic happens.
Uncertainty often forces us to make changes in our lives that we might not ever have made before had we not been thrown into the unknown. Unpredictable times catapult you out of your comfort zone and into a place where only new things are possible. If you've ever been in a situation where the path seems unclear, it could be exactly what you need to get you to the next step.
When you decide to change your life, it's a powerful position. Learning to love the unknown and embracing the present can bring you new opportunities in ways you may not have considered before.
Whether you're unsure of your purpose or ready to take the leap, here are four sure-fire ways to help you find more meaning in your life.
As humans, we are made for connection, so it’s no coincidence that doing things for others gives you a more profound sense of meaning and belonging.
Leaning into being of service to others helps you find more purpose and meaning, especially when you feel disconnected and alone. It reconnects you to your humanity and supports the expansion of the planet.
Do you ever feel you're a natural at something where other people struggle? Well, this could be your zone of genius. Pay close attention to what gives you ease and flow. Lean into your natural talents and spend more time nurturing your gifts.
Similarly to exploring your natural gifts and talents, you can also spend more time pursuing your interests. What do you get passionate about? is there a cause, movement or charity that fills you with enthusiasm or maybe it's an injustice that fills you with rage.
Either way linking your purpose to something you are passionate about can help you direct your energy towards something that can give you a sense of direction.
If you're struggling to find more substance in your life, maybe it's time to try something new. It's so easy to get stuck in the mundane routine of everyday life, doing the same things over and over again.
It could be that your purpose is something you've never tried before. Sometimes your purpose needs to be discovered. So, venturing out of your comfort zone by taking a course and expanding your skillset can take you on a new journey of personal discovery.
If you’ve ever considered doing something life changing like following your passion or pivoting into a new career. It doesn’t take long for feelings of fear and doubt to creep in that throw you off course. These are normal concerns when you’re about to do something new.
Following your dreams takes courage. While fear is there to keep you safe, sometimes changing your reality means taking action regardless of fear and trusting the unknown.
Most people spend a lifetime looking for their life's mission; it doesn't always happen overnight.
There's magic in the unknown, and as you try new things and explore your natural talents. You'll begin to enjoy your journey as it unfolds, and along the way, you'll get to take the pieces that feel good to you and follow the trail until you find your more significant reason for being.
Discover the TNM Coaching Academy's Evolutionary Coach Program designed to give you the tools to live life on your terms with more purpose, passion and freedom, helping you help others and evolve humanity. Enrol today!
“We know that change can be chaotic, but the natural law of evolution and expansion are at work now and I am participating in it.”
Comfort has held so much power in our lives over the years because of how it makes us feel. It is like being in bed long after waking up, but that warmth has refused to let you go. Maybe it is the duvet or the size of the bed. Finally, we manage to get up and go on to our usual life routine. This cycle repeats itself repeatedly, and eventually, it is something we can’t let go.
We are at the moment living in unprecedented times, which are becoming complex each day and hard to predict. The Covid-19 pandemic has already had a great impact on our lives, and we are left wondering what hit us. At times it feels like we are in a movie wondering when it will end. One thing for sure, the pandemic has exposed the underbelly of several issues ?— healthcare infrastructure, race division, the economic state, (both local & global) human rights issues, among others. All these are huge concerns for humankind with no easy solutions or options ahead.
At a personal level, we feel the effect on the world, and at times it is like we are carrying the universal load on our shoulders. This feeling can be quite frustrating, and once in a while, we feel agitated because of how things are panning out and the duration it takes. Our quick-fix approach for issues seems not to work anymore, our individuality now seems threatened, and the focus has shifted to survival. We are wondering, will we survive? The focus is far less on how to thrive.
I do sense we are in a time of a different type of evolution, and its happening right in front of our eyes, and we might miss this opportunity to co-create what we envision for this world. There is the opportune time to let go of our comfort and long-held habits and beliefs that have gotten us here. These habits were our friends, and just like our beds or duvets, we have created an illusion of a comfortable life. That is why we are wondering where this pandemic comes from and why now.
It offers us the opportunity to re-examine how we have been running our life affairs and slowly make a shift to a new world. We need to remember that we create our worlds each day through our beliefs, actions, and how we show up in life. We need to ask ourselves, how have these actions affected our individuality, community, and, eventually, the world? It is the time to let go of those things or perspectives that were comfortable but no longer serves us again and will not serve as we go through this evolution. We need to take time and assess what we have held so dearly in our lives and lovingly allow it to go. Just like once in a while, we need to declutter our minds or houses; it is the time to let go and release what no longer serves us. It has served its purpose and has been comfy, making some of our days warm.
What are you planning to let go that has given you comfort all these years?
It is time to let go.
This blog was first published on Garden Spices Magazine.
The term consciousness is defined as the ‘the state of being aware of and responsive to one’s surroundings or something within oneself’. This definition is quite straightforward and one that most of us can associate with. I think most of us would agree that we want to become more aware. We all intuitively know what this means and can say, yes, we want be more conscious. However, as a general topic, consciousness tends to seem complex and hard to grasp. A British psychologist, Stuart Sutherland said, “Consciousness is a fascinating but elusive phenomenon…nothing worth reading has been written on it.”
The ability of humans to self reflect means that they are capable of becoming more conscious. Discovering who we really are is questionably our most important journey on this planet. By becoming more aware we can make free judgments about things and thoughtful and deliberate ways to behave.
Some courageous questions an individual can ask themselves on this journey are:
Many people do not take the time to self reflect and truly understand themselves and what is happening around them. Without this awareness, personal development is not possible.
And What about Organizational Consciousness? What does that mean? When an organization has a deeper sense of connected-ness, that is what we call organizational consciousness. People need self- reflection to become more aware and conscious and so do organizations.
Most people and organizations will focus on what they want to have and what they have to do, what problems they need to fix. The solutions are therefore still in the same space which the problems arise and problems can NOT be solved in the same space in which they show up. If A + B = C and you want a different outcome, then clearly something in A and/or B needs to shift or change.
Organizations are more than structures. They are living communities with living assets. Some organizations may need a new structure to elevate to the shifting and raising consciousness in people – but more importantly they need a new culture and mindset. The focus on a conscious organization needs to be a focus on the BEING. Once we focus on the BEING and how to make this more whole and complete then the DOING will automatically be shifted. The shift needs to happen not only at the individual level but also at the organizational or collective level. The essence is shifting to a more empowering, connected culture where people are inspired to achieve their unlimited potential and contribute towards the collective unlimited potential of the organization.
The Barrett Values Centre has come up with a model called the Seven Levels of Organisational Consciousness which I think is quite relevant.
Level 1: Survival: Pursuit of profit and shareholder value: Creating an environment of financial stability, and focusing on the health, safety and welfare of all employees. Focus on the reduction of excessive control and caution, short-term focus, corruption, greed and exploitation.
Level 2: Relationship:Relationships that support the organization: Building harmonious relationships that create a sense of belonging and loyalty amongst employees and caring and connection between the organization and its customers. Focus on the reduction of internal competition, manipulation, blame, internal politics, gender and ethnic discrimination.
Level 3: Self- Esteem: High performance systems and processes:Creating a sense of employee pride by establishing policies, procedures, systems, processes and structures that create order and enhance the performance of the organisation through the use of best practices. Focus on the reduction of bureaucracy, hierarchy, silo-mentality, power and status seeking, confusion, complacency and arrogance.
Level 4: Transformation: Adaptability and continuous learning:Giving employees a voice in decision-making and making them accountable and responsible for their own futures in an environment that supports innovation, continuous improvement, knowledge sharing, and the personal growth and development of all employees.
Level 5: Internal cohesion: Strong cohesive culture: Enhancing the organisation’s capacity for collective action by aligning employee motivations around a singular mission, an inspiring vision and as shared set of values that create commitment and integrity, and unleash enthusiasm, creativity and passion.
Level 6: Making a difference: Strategic alliances and partnerships:Building mutually beneficial alliances with other organisations and the local community to protect the environment, while deepening the level of internal connectivity inside the organization by fostering internal cooperation between business units and departments.
Level 7: Social Responsibility: Working with other organisations and the stakeholders of the organization in pursuit of societal objectives that enhance the sustainability of humanity and the planet, while deepening the level of internal connectivity inside the organization by fostering compassion, humility and forgiveness.
So where is your organization in terms of these levels? The levels 1-3 focus on the basic needs of business, the fourth level is transformation from fear-based to open and inclusive and levels 5-7 focus on cultural cohesion and alignment, long-term sustainability and social responsibility.
At the present, there are very few organisations functioning at the full spectrum. I believe this is the direction we are moving though and as Richard Barrett says,
“A precondition for success at this level of consciousness is self-less service, displayed through a profound commitment to the common good and to the well being of future generations. To be successful at level 7, organisations much embrace the highest ethical standards in all their interactions with employees, suppliers, customers, shareholders and the local community. They must always give consideration to the long-term impacts of their decisions and actions.”
So what are you doing as a leader to take your organization to the next level of consciousness?
I'm using language, emotions and body to write this and you are reading it using language, emotions and body. Now. This is our Way of Being.
I've experienced and watched many different coaching styles, approaches and techniques with some of most experienced coaches in the world. One approach stands out because of significant and sustainable results in my life, relationships and coaching. The approach is Ontological coaching.
Ontology is the study of being. Ontological coaching supports and challenges individuals in a reflection of who they are.
Way of Being is a dynamic interrelationship between three areas of human existence – language, emotions and body.
Coaching in language, emotions and body has the potential to be transformative, for it can generate profound learning and deep constructive change.
Ontology uses the premise that language is a process that generates reality; humans are languaging beings that continually create what is real for them by the specific ways they use and do not use language.
Notice what language(s) are you using while reading this.
Emotions shape our way of being or our capacity for action. Emotions pre-disposes us to act or not and in different ways. If experience being grateful I will act and speak differently than if I experience resentment. The power of Emotions to continually shape perception and behaviour is the essence of our wellbeing and the foundation of our relationships.
Notice your emotion(s) at the moment.
The body (postural alignment, movement, muscle tension and breathing) is crucial in perception, learning and change. Long-standing moods and unhelpful beliefs are embodied (stored and codified in the body). Change may happen at an intellectual level and will be sustainable when the body changes.
Notice your posture, movement, muscular tensions and breathing now.
An ontological coach can support and challenge by developing different ways of using language, emotions and body to generate a more constructive reality. Ways of Being.
I recommend the books about Ontological Coaching by Alan Sieler, Coaching to the Human Soul, 3 Volumes (ordered them from Australia, worth it!), looking forward to Volume 4 that will be published later this year.
André Ribeiro is an executive coach, team coach and mentor coach. He is Master Certified Coach by the International Coach Federation, Senior Practitioner by the European Mentoring and Coaching Council, Team Kanban Practitioner by Lean Kanban University, Business Agility Flowlab Facilitator by Okaloa, Advanced Practitioner in the Team Diagnostic Survey and more. More @ ExtraCoaching.com